Dear [Friends],

Last night, while I was making dinner, Tobias ran out to check the mail.  For the few minutes he was out of the house, I was trying to concentrate on dinner, but my mind kept going to our adoption process.  It is an understatement to say this has been a tough season.  So, I was in the midst of thinking and hurting and doing some processing when Tobias returned.  He walked into the kitchen and, without a word, handed me a lovely beige and light yellow card.  I could immediately tell it was a card about a baby, a mom, and a dad.  So, I go into self-protection mode and pray, “God, give me strength of steel to deal with yet another baby announcement.”

I began to read the card and realized it was written to me and Toby.  In this moment, the words on the page became a balm to my soul.  I did not make a sound, but I started to cry.  I could not speak.  I just stood there with tears running down my face.

Then, I saw your check.

I was leveled.

Tobias and I stood there in the kitchen just holding each other, crying.

Over the last few weeks, both of us have been dealing with the ups-and-downs of this process.  It is not fun.  Most expectant moms are planning showers, choosing items for their baby, having pictures taken of their growing bellies, and sharing special moments with the expectant dad, family, and friends.  Most expectant dads are telling funny stories about their wife’s cravings and hormone changes, dreaming about their son or daughter’s future, taking the pictures of the growing bellies, and sharing those special moments filled with excitement and anticipation. Instead, Tobias and I are doing paperwork, making phone calls to see if there are any birthmoms interested in us, managing adoption agency processes, and raising the $38,000 it will cost us to bring our little one home.

In the midst of this, I have had moments where I wanted to quit.  I wonder if we will ever be chosen, if we will indeed hold in our arms the child that is in our hearts.

All of this was weighing on us as we stood in that kitchen.  Right at that moment, when it seemed this particular week – this particular moment – would overwhelm us, your card arrived, as if carried by the hands of angels.

Your words brought encouragement and fanned into flames the smoldering wick of hope I was desperately holding on to.  I have repeated psalms 113:9 to myself, over and over again, knowing that the God who has done mighty things, does still do mighty things, and will do mighty things for us.

We will never be able to thank you for the exceedingly generous gift.  Thank you simply cannot convey the gratitude we feel.  I only have a few truly great desires in my heart.  The first is to know and love Christ with all I am.  The second is to know and love my husband with all I am.  The third is to be a mom and raise a child to know and love the Lord and walk with Him always.  How do you thank people who help fulfill one of the greatest desires of your heart?  Words are insufficient.  No actions can express the thankfulness.  So, we are left with simply saying “thank you” and asking the Holy Spirit to translate this meaning as only He can.

Kelli and Tobias

—–end of letter to our precious friends—–

 We have $29,000 left to raise to reach our goal.

Kelli

Dear Expectant Mother,

Thank you for taking the time to get to know us.  Although we have not yet met you, we have been praying for you.  We know what an important and difficult decision you are making, and we admire your courage.  We know that you are a special woman carrying a special child.  We are so grateful that you have chosen to give the gift of life to your baby.  We pray that these days would be filled with the love of God and the peace that comes in knowing He will guide your every step as you look to Him.  We know that He will be with you.

We hope this book will give you a good idea of who we are and why we are adopting.  If you chose us to be the parents of your child, we will share your loving decision as he or she grows up.  We recognize the selfless, giving act you are making and you will always have a special place in our hearts.

With deep respect,

Tobias & Kelli

Our fundraising total is $7, 975.  We wanted to hit a total of $15,000 by May 1st – which is Tuesday.  We have $7,000 to go!  Please pass the word…

Kelli

Thank you for the generous contribution to our adoption.  You have been walking with us through this process and we appreciate the prayers, support, and financial contributions.  We realize that, in this economy, everyone who gives does so sacrificially.  Thank you for helping us bring our baby home.

I wish I had more perfect words to convey the meaning of my heart.  Saying thank you never seems enough when friends give from caring hearts…when friends pray with conviction that God will meet us at the point of our need with an answered prayer…when friends share in the waiting, and the sorrow that comes with it.

How sweet it will be when we finally hold in our arms the precious gift that we now hold in our hearts!

We have raised $7,750.00 and have $31,000 to go.

We have a goal of reaching $15,000 by May 1st!  Can you help?  Can you make a contribution or pass the word?

$31,000 is a lot of money.  But, with the donations of family, friends, and – hopefully – some grants we are working on, we believe we will raise the money!

People can participate in our 10/10 Campaign…here are the details:

Join the 10/10 Campaign!
It only takes 10…Please give $10 to our adoption fund. Then ask 10 friends to do the same!

Many people think that they must be able to give a large sum of money to help us raise the funds needed for our adoption. But, if everyone we knew would give $10 and then ask 10 friends to do the same, we would have our funds in no time!

An extra $10 is not difficult to find…

• The average person spends $8.84 per week at Starbucks.
• The average person eats out 3-4 times per week and spends about $12 per meal.

Would you consider giving up one of your discretionary spends for 1 week and redirecting the funds to our adoption?

We have raised $7,700.00 and have $31,000 to go.

Insert big gulp here…

$31,000 is a lot of money.  But, with the donations of family, friends and – hopefully – some grants we are going to try to get, we believe we will raise the money!  We would like to hit $15,000 raised by May 1st, 2012.  That’s $7,300 in the next month-and-a-half!

So, please pass the word that we are still raising funds and people can participate in our 10/10 Campaign…here are the details:

Join the 10/10 Campaign!
It only takes 10…Please give $10 to our adoption fund. Then ask 10 friends to do the same!

Many people think that they must be able to give a large sum of money to help us raise the funds needed for our adoption. But, if everyone we knew would give $10 and then ask 10 friends to do the same, we would have our funds in no time!

An extra $10 is not difficult to find…

• The average person spends $8.84 per week at Starbucks.
• The average person eats out 3-4 times per week and spends about $12 per meal.

Would you consider giving up one of your discretionary spends for 1 week and redirecting the funds to our adoption?

Give Online

Good storage, cozy crib, and fun art!

More nursery pics!

Bright colors for baby

Kissing frogs...so cute!

Hooks for Hanging Things...

Friends!

Setting-up nursery…

Praying and keeping very busy…

Waiting on baby…

We are in the process of selecting a domestic agency.  Sounds simple, right?  Not so.  The agencies all require that you take an educational class, provided by them, to help prepare you for adoption.  We think this is a good thing.  It is important for our family and for our child that we be well prepared and understand what to expect after adoption and as we raise our child.

The problem:  the classes may or may not be available any time soon.  It may be two months, it may be four.  We cannot be admitted into their program until we take the class.  So, we have to add months to an already lengthy process.  So, I’m thinking, “Really?”  I think it, but this is one of those things I have not been saying.

Then, we have the waiting period.  For domestic, you are waiting to be chosen by a family.   So, you prepare a profile book and hope that the birth parents like you enough to choose you to be the parents of their baby.  Can I just mention how scary this can be?  What if people do not choose us to be parents?  Will we ever be parents?  It feels as if building our family is reliant on the decisions of others.  You feel powerless at times.  Yes, God is in control.  Yes, we know he has a child for us.  Yes, all things will come together in the right time.  Yes, He will make it happen.  But, that does not make it any less scary.  These are some of the things I have not been saying.

We have people in our lives who are very supportive of our adoption process.  They ask where we are in the process, how far we have to go, how long it will take, how much it costs, and so much more.  They genuinely want to support us and are so excited for us to have a baby.  But, there are no simple answers to these questions.  When they ask, I think, “We are not sure where we are in the process, as the process is long and challenging.”  “We know it will cost between $30,000 and $40,000 and we have only raised about $6,000.”  “We are tired, frustrated, and yet filled with anticipation because we want our baby and feel it is so close to happening, yet so far away.”  It is hard to respond because people want to hear the miracle stories. The stories of people giving thousands of dollars and all the funds coming in over night. Or, the stories of the call that comes in an unexpected moment from someone telling you that you have been chosen and there is a child who will quickly be in your arms.  But, these stories are not yet our story.  They are what we hope for and dream for.  We know our response will, in some way, make them uncomfortable.  Because, right now, our story means people have to hang-in-there with us until something happens.  It means it is not fun and exciting, but hard work and a lot of waiting.  It means we have to push through the tears and heartache until we reach the end of this journey and bring our child home.  These are some of the things I think, but have not been saying.

So, now I am saying the things I have not been saying.  I am sure I will say more later.  But, this is a start.  It feels good to say what I have not been saying.

– Kelli